The frist step in recovery is...

Realize I am NOT God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

It would seem to be easy for most of us to recognize we are not God. If we were, we would sure do things differently. Just look at the movie starring Jim Carrey Bruce Almighty. But truth is we battle with being God all the time. This is most evident in our control issues.

Consider this, what do you have control over? I mean real control. I thought I had control over the schedule for this weekend until Monday when I found out (my wife told me) I did not have control and needed to make other arrangements. There is a gender conflict story there that goes un-written. It’s easy to point out the obvious elements where we lack control the weather, life and death, illness although we spend a lot of money, time and energy being fit and trying to live longer (a control issue I believe). Take for instance what you will eat (I am hungry by the way). You can eat whatever you want as long as you can find it (is or is not in the fridge) pay for it (enough money) or get it (out of season). No control really, any one of those issues could stop you dead in your hunger (I told you I was hungry). But we still spend a lot of time complaining and worrying over what we have no real control over. That seems insane to me.

What do you have control over? Your choices you say. Well, that is true and it is not true. Most times we are not even able to control our tendency to do the wrong thing. Paul speaks of this in Romans 7:19 NIV

“19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

However, we do have some control over our choices. We can choose to have no control at all. I think that is what Christ meant when he said “take up your cross and follow me.” Could it be that our cross is our insistent desire to have control, power, to be like God as Adam and Eve were tested and failed? I think so. We deceive ourselves into believing we have control. It was even our choice to follow Christ, really? Who does the drawing, convicting and saving? It surly wasn’t me! I had no control. Does that mean I am adrift? No, it means I have a new captain. One who promised to keep good care of me period.

What do I need to have control over?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, you see as I get out of the way and follow I gain more confidence in my captain’s ability to lead and lead well. I trust Jesus more and can say “whatever, It’ll be alright” with humility and confidence because I trust my captain, my savior, my Jesus. It seems like and insane way to live but creation seems insane at times and yet we discover daily order and plan and purpose. I was reminded this week of a familiar saying “when you can’t see the Father’s hand trust His heart.” I am learning HIS heart is good. Oh, yes I still think I’m in control at times (I am God’s comic relief). I am not.

But, that’s O.K. It’ll be alright! Including my trip this weekend!