In
pre-marital counseling I talk with couples about their love languages. What
gestures, words actions make them feel loved by their mate? It is usually the
simple touch or a note in the day or phone call just to find out how they are
that makes one feel loved. It’s a good exercise to share with your spouse
especially after a number of years because needs and desires change over time
and maturity. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and those two planets
often collide over this “feeling loved” issue. Why?
Because we
often express our love like we would like to be loved. Do unto others as you
would have them do to you is the golden rule but our method causes problem. Let
me explain it like this if your spouse only spoke Japanese and your only speak
Gullah (a language of the islands of coastal South Carolina) there would be a problem.
Each of you could say I love you in your own language because that means so
much to you but neither would understand the expression. You don’t speak the
same language. However, if you moved past your language and learned to say “I
love you” in your mates language. They would understand and appreciate the
effort. They would feel more loved.
Recently I
heard a message about the paralyzed man with four friends and Jesus. Jesus was
teaching a packed house when the roof began to chip and crumble on their heads.
These four friends had to get their friend to see Jesus. He could heal his legs
and the only way to get him in front of Jesus literally was through the roof so
that is what they did. They dug through the dirt and mud expanding the hole one
dirt clod at a time until it was big enough to lower their friend on his mat
before Jesus. Can you image the disruption below in the house? Jesus had to
stop because all eyes were turned above to see what was happening.
It was happening;
the mat came down in fits and starts, no Hollywood special effects or
levitation. A little more here and there on this side and then that, it must
have been frightening to the crowd and the paralyzed man to experience the
process. The mat stops right in front of Jesus and he says,
Some
men brought to him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he
said to the paralytic, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” Matthew
9:2 NIV 1984.
If you
were the man on the mat what might you be thinking? “What the….? I need my legs
healed so I can walk! What is this about sins?” You might have a hard time
believing God cares for you when he did not even meet your immediate need! You
might think that because we score how others care for us from our needs and
wants. But God looks first to the most important and not the most immediate.
The most important thing for each of us is forgiveness of our sins. Jesus goes
right to the heart of the matter of sin and forgives what a blessing.
That’s
just like God to act from his authority to extend the blessing of grace first
and then to give us a task. Jesus does that here. He then goes on to say “get
up take your mat and go home.” Matt. 9:6
NIV 1984. The man did just that. He obeyed the task Jesus gave him after the
blessing of grace.
God has
cared for you from before the beginning. The blessing of grace came BEFORE the
task before me. My tasks are not necessary to gain the blessing it has already
been given. That is how God has cared for us as so what will we do in response
to this grace? Jesus said for us to care for others. As we have experienced God’s
care then care for others. What about extending grace first and then explaining
the task at hand? He cares for us…We
care for you!
In His
Service and Yours
The Rev
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